“The fire won’t keep going if you forget to put logs on it guys,” is a catchphrase in our house. It is usually uttered when my husband and I have been out, leaving the children in charge, and we come home to a dead fire and cold house.

And so it is with love. Without fuel, your perfectly flaming fire will turn into a grey pile of cold ashes. What was once hot, hot love is now dead and cold. And we’re surprised. How did this happen? How did that hunk of spunk turn into that person I passed on the way to the loo this morning?

As a couples therapist over the years, I’ve noted some pointers for keeping the love fires burning. Here are my “top-10 logs” for the relationship fire: read more »