One out of 4 fathers experience symptoms of Post-Natal Depression (PND) during the 12 months following the birth of their child. While most of them may not meet the full criteria for PND, many men report symptoms of depressed mood, low interest in their regular activities, feelings of worthlessness, loss of energy, and fears that their problems will be dismissed or they will be stigmatised in some way (e.g. seen as weak). While PND is more common in mothers (affecting about 15% of women with slightly higher rates for Maori women), often both partners are suffering some symptoms of depression and men often get missed. read more »
In the first year of my relationship with my boyfriend (now husband) I remember thinking, with more than a good dose of smugness, that we had not fought once. In my naivety I thought this was a sign of a great relationship. After twenty years of working with couples I have come to realise we were in the ‘honeymoon’ phase. It was a charade, a time during which couples dance around each other, masking their real selves in an attempt to avoid rejection. read more »
“The fire won’t keep going if you forget to put logs on it guys,” is a catchphrase in our house. It is usually uttered when my husband and I have been out, leaving the children in charge, and we come home to a dead fire and cold house.
And so it is with love. Without fuel, your perfectly flaming fire will turn into a grey pile of cold ashes. What was once hot, hot love is now dead and cold. And we’re surprised. How did this happen? How did that hunk of spunk turn into that person I passed on the way to the loo this morning?
As a couples therapist over the years, I’ve noted some pointers for keeping the love fires burning. Here are my “top-10 logs” for the relationship fire: read more »